March 27, 2023

The world wonders

About galaxies and stars

While missing the miracles

Of our created life.

How was it to be you

Young and carefree

Stumbling safely

In your country home?

Was it lonely

With so much freedom

Ripping your innocence

Like petals plucked from a daisy?

Does he love me?

Does he love me not?

Does anybody love me?

Did they love you?

I carry these questions

Like stones in my throat

My mouth chokes

On the rusty reluctance.

Was it hard to be a mom

So young and new

To the harshness of men

And the judgements of sisters?

How then did you cope

With my little girl curls

And the rowdy little boys

When their little worlds rested on your shoulders?

What made your heart shine

And your soul sparkle with joy?

Who livens up the dark spaces

With sunny skies and coffee?

If I could, I’d save you from the world

Your little girl, your daughter,

Who sang with dandelions

And skipped through the gravel.

The shadows can not be

Without the light, mother.

Let’s walk through the summer

Together, with the wind in our hair.

Free as the birds in flight.

Hearty Love

Hearty love masks madness with petals and dark chocolate.

Bottle caps ring against the marble, 

Like the metal blade of your tongue hitting my internal walls.

We drink to our forgiveness with deep fruit and sweet carbonation. 

Sacrifice drags on in the dark hours of anger.

Each moment a memory adds to the growing fire.

Forgotten acceptance echoes in wisps through the grate.

Dinner for your troubles?

Holding around your waist is hesitance and humor.

One is unsure of the future of our life.

The other bursts through the questionable silence

With silly wit and ridiculousness.

What is the coupling, but a testament

To the strength of letting go

And grabbing onto the string

Of the flying balloon?

I will rest on it with you

Beside our pictured beginning,

The calm moments lingering

With the imagined uncertainties.

Tethered forever.   

The Truth

I have a feeling 

That there’s truth to it.

Someone’s hand on my throat

Putting me against the wall.

I remember it all.

But the face,

It has blurred with time.

And maybe I blocked it out

Or passed out.

Who knows?

All I know is 

That it wasn’t my fault.

I was just a little girl. 

And my mother

Was young. 

Who’s to blame?

The mother or the bad egg?

Maybe something else happened.

Whenever I ask questions,

I’m locked out

And the phone hangs up:

Dead silence on the line. 

Funny how we can’t admit

To being wrong

Even the ones singing the sad songs

With a bottle in their hands. 

Mmhmm. Yeah. 

I have a feeling 

That there’s truth to it.

No matter what you say,

I remember that. 

And I choose to love you.