February 10, 2023

Crippling anxiety attacks on the brightest of days.  The battle wages in the mind as the soul heals beneath the fleshy form.  To fight against me is to lose me to the one you forsook.  He protects me and guides me through the endless struggles of human life.  You on the other hand, seek to destroy me, breaking me to my weakest in shaking fright.  How dare you touch me.

I now know the depths of my weakness.  It was an uncontrollable night rife with screams and crying.  Sleep would not come, but I made it.  Invisibly I am held with loving arms to give me peaceful rest.  I am not worthy of His embrace.  I must learn to be afraid of Him, because to lose Him is to lose everything.  

Now that sleep has come and I have rested in His gifts, I can breathe again.  I wonder how to live and be me, while changing my ways to better serve others.  I am working on a list of struggles, but the more light shined upon them, the more room I have to live freely.  Anxiety will continue to wrestle with me, but I will have the great light holding my hand. 

Beatrix